Play Deprivation: What Happens When We Stop Playing

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Ky for The Vibe with Ky Podcast to talk about something I’ve become increasingly passionate about: play deprivation.

We often think of play as something extra, a reward we get after the work is done, the emails are answered, or the to-do list is finally complete.

But what happens when we stop playing altogether?

For me, that question is deeply personal.

There was a point in my career when I was working constantly, convinced that if I just accomplished enough, I would eventually feel like I had earned the right to slow down. I was resting, but I still felt burned out. Eventually, I realized that rest alone wasn’t what I was missing.

I was missing play.

What Is Play Deprivation?

I define play as being fully immersed in an experience where the outcome doesn’t really matter. It’s something you would do simply because you enjoy doing it, not because it earns you money, status, productivity, or approval.

When play disappears from our lives, we can start to see the world differently.

Instead of seeing the people around us as playmates, we can start seeing them as competitors. Work becomes a proving ground. Even our hobbies can become another opportunity to achieve, optimize, or prove ourselves.

And because this can happen gradually, we don’t always recognize what’s happening.

We just think we’re being responsible adults.

Finding Your Way Back to Play

One of the exercises I shared with Ky is what I call a Play History.

Think back to when you were a kid. What did you naturally gravitate toward? What activities could completely absorb you?

Then look beneath the activity and ask: What was it about that experience that I loved?

Maybe you loved building things. Maybe it was storytelling, exploring, nurturing, performing, competing, creating, or connecting with other people.

The activity itself isn’t necessarily the answer. The underlying quality is your compass of joy.

Once you understand that, you can start finding ways to bring those elements back into your life as an adult.

One Simple Thing You Can Try

I also shared a very simple experiment on the podcast.

Move your social media app off your home screen and replace it with your notes app.

Then, create a list of things you genuinely enjoy doing, including small things that you can do for five minutes.

The next time you instinctively reach for social media, open your list instead and choose one thing to do for five minutes.

That’s it.

You don’t need to overhaul your life. You don’t need to schedule an entire afternoon of fun.

Just create small opportunities to play.

The Big Takeaway

The biggest thing I hope people take away from our conversation is this:

You don’t have to earn play.

Play isn’t a reward for finishing your work. Your to-do list will never be completely finished, and if you make play dependent on productivity, you’ll always find a reason to postpone it.

If play has been missing from your life for a while, that doesn’t mean you’ve lost it.

It’s still there.

You may just need to give yourself permission to find it again.

Thanks to Ky for having me on The Vibe with Ky Podcast and for creating the space for this conversation. We talked about burnout, play deprivation, ADHD, rediscovering joy, and what it means to stop treating life like a proving ground.

Go listen to the full conversation: The Vibe with Ky Podcast: Play Deprivation: What Happens When We Stop Playing